An Irrevocable Affair
by She11y
Summary: Alec Lightwood, an ordinary university student, falls under the allure of the captivating Magnus Bane. As they spiral into an irrevocable affair, Alec struggles to face the demands of the real world and please the very few people important to him in his life. And with a conscious as guilty as his, can he keep his most shameful secrets hidden from his oppressive father? Malec. AU.
1. Chapter 1

There were many ways Alec would have preferred to spend a Friday night. His preferences however, whether they referred to his choice of takeaway or style of clothing, were always too boring, too safe. This had never bothered him, though; he aimed to make his life as easy as possible. For this reason, he found himself agreeing to his friend's indisputable demands that they make their way to the bar "to drink to the end of another pointless term". Considering that Alec's course subject had been his father's choice, he couldn't deny that not only the past term but the last two and a half years had been a waste. Although, he claimed otherwise to his father to avoid discord. And after spending several years now with a closeted shame, he found himself doing whatever was necessary to atone for it. For maybe then he would feel less guilt for irrevocably existing with his afflicted conscience.

"Alec, let's go," Jace called from the doorway. "You can pack later; this handsome face hasn't got all night." He flashed a winning smile which Alec couldn't help but reciprocate.

"Just because you're afraid I'll make a mess on your side of the room," he said, zipping his suitcase shut. Although Jace showed the most obvious symptoms of OCD, his ego would never confess it.

"I like a tidy bed to greet me when I'm wasted."

Alec shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "We're not getting too drunk are we?"

"What do you consider to be 'too drunk'?"

Although there was a hesitation to his response, Jace didn't seem to notice. "When I have to drag you all the way home because you've thrown up in our taxi," he replied, meeting his friend in the hallway and locking the door behind them.

"Que será, será," Jace called as he strode ahead.

It was typical of Jace to take action without thought or reason. What Alec would label as 'reckless', Jace would call 'adventurous'. Yet they travelled as a pair, no matter the journey ahead of them; they had always watched each other's back. And even though it was normally Jace who landed them in these so-called adventurous situations, Alec continued to follow. For his heart was loyal but it had also made him blind to a hopeless desire that blossomed in his chest whenever he saw Jace's face and the way his golden eyes would come alight with life as if they had never seen the world before. He was like the sun with rays of energy that unknowingly burned the incessant wound on Alec's heart and torched the small ball of hope inside.

Trailing feebly behind him, Alec sighed. "Whatever will be, will be."

* * *

With the second term for that year finished, Jace and Alec were not the only ones who had decided to celebrate this. The bar was teeming with life: the majority of people consisted of students, most of which were intoxicated, but there were also beer-bellied regulars; a handful of under aged youths squashed uncomfortably in a dark corner; and a group of dramatically styled individuals that were gathered suspiciously around a small table.

When the pair entered this drunken jungle, they surveyed their surroundings carefully to find a place to sit. Bass music pulsed from the speakers overhead and there was a pungent smell of perfume and sweat.

"There, at the end of the bar table," Alec indicated, standing on his toes.

Jace grabbed onto his collar and pulled him, evidently eager to not lose their newfound spot. In the struggle to squeeze through the sea of people, Jace collided with another who carried a tray of empty beer bottles. It crashed to the floor, scattering shards of brown glass over people's feet.

"Watch it!" Jace yelled, stepping angrily aside.

The other man, who was taller with dark hair styled into long spikes, glared menacingly at him.

Receiving no verbal response, Jace stared mockingly back. "Are you blind or did my good looks dazzle your vision?"

Snorting, the man picked up his tray and hardened the dangerous look in his eyes which were rimmed with charcoal and glitter. "Oh you're _far_ from dazzling." As he stormed away, Alec grasped the man gently by the elbow. He swung around immediately.

"Hey, I'm sorry. My friend, he's -"

The man glanced at the contact Alec made with his arm before scanning his appearance from top to bottom. "You have a peculiar taste in friends," he said, finding Alec's eyes again.

Suddenly uncomfortable, Alec released his grip. He cleared his throat. "Do you want help clearing that up?"

The man's face softened somewhat and he tilted his head fascinatedly to the side. "I'll take care of it," he said, before disappearing into the crowd.

Once seated and served, Jace held his pint up to Alec. Although they had drank many times before, Alec still disliked the taste of most alcohol. Jace, on the other hand, could drink anything and Alec often wondered whether he actually enjoyed doing so or whether he just tolerated it so that he could become drunk faster.

"To wasting our lives and getting wasted," Jace declared, his golden eyes sparkling mischievously under the locks of his blond hair swept across his forehead.

Alec knocked his pint uncertainly against his friend's. "And to my best friend."

"You mean you're only friend," Jace chortled, taking a gulp of alcohol.

Alec sipped politely at the rim of his glass. The taste was harsh and bitter. "I have friends."

"Name one – and not Izzy because she's your sister and therefore doesn't count.

Alec shifted uneasily in his seat. "Sebastian."

Jace leaned his back against the pillar behind him, resting his hands behind his head. "Ah, but is Sebastian as good-looking, as charming, and as talented as me?"

In the few seconds it took for Alec to respond, he studied the familiar features of Jace's appearance. From the golden waves of his hair, like a halo around his head, to the warm light in his eyes. His jaw was locked in its usual stubborn position and a playful smile, one that he had adopted as a child, pulled at the edge of his lips.

"No," Alec murmured, hoping his blush wouldn't show in the dimly lit building.

Jace seemed pleased with his answer however and Alec took the opportunity to initiate a genuine conversation with him.

"Are we going camping again this Easter?" he asked, taking a hesitant mouthful of his beer.

"Do you want to?"

"Well, yeah, last time was great!" Alec leaned into Jace as he recalled a particular moment from their last trip. The memory made him smile and as he talked he felt as if he was reliving that point in life: Jace trying to catch a fish in the water; his face when he slipped on the riverbed; how they had to settle with Bombay mix and cheese strings for dinner.

Yet Alec found that the more he talked, the less interested Jace became, lost in his own thoughts. When he contemplated the memory again, it hadn't been as amusing as he had initially thought and he let his voice trail off into a hopeless sigh.

The evening continued - as it often did - in this way: Alec recalling old memories to an ever distant Jace, so absorbed in the depths of his mind. Nevertheless, his presence was better than nothing and Alec was happy to merely be spending the evening with him.

Whilst he was barely finishing his first pint, Jace was taking the last swig of his fourth. As he slammed the glass to the table, his eyes suddenly lit up.

"Alec!" he exclaimed, angling his body closer to his expectant friend.

"Yeah?"

He nodded in the direction just behind Alec's left shoulder, his expression greedy and animated. "Do you see that girl?"

It was as if a balloon suddenly deflated in Alec's stomach. Of course he was distracted by a girl. Reluctantly, he turned in his chair to locate the lucky person. "Where?"

"The small one with the red hair."

Alec found her seated at a table opposite a lanky guy with dark hair and glasses, trying desperately to make a move on her to which she was seemingly oblivious to. "What about her?"

"What do you think?"

Alec swivelled back around and shrugged. "She's alright."

" _Alright_?"

"Not really my type, I guess."

Jace shook his head heavily, the effects of alcohol finally kicking in. "I'm beginning to think you don't have a type. Are you even interested in girls?"

"Don't be stupid," Alec muttered, hunching over the counter. "I'm just not interested in the same girls as you."

"So you wouldn't mind if I introduced myself to her?" Jace asked, hopping off of his stool.

"Why would I mind?" He gripped the neck of his glass tightly. "She seems to have company already, though. You'll ruin his chances."

Jace chuckled darkly. "Declarations of love amuse me. Especially when unrequited."

"And what makes you so sure you won't be friend zoned along with him?"

"Do you doubt my capabilities? We've been friends long enough by now for you to know that I have a sixth sense for many things, including the female species." Running a hand coolly through his hair, he slapped Alec on the shoulder. "I'll be right back."

As Jace made his way over, Alec looked on wistfully. He observed how Jace, charming and unafraid as ever, held out his hand to shake the girl's before sliding easily between her and her friend who struggled to hide his rage at the intruder. Much to Alec's surprise, she didn't take to Jace's allure, leaning away from his arm which he'd slung on the back of her seat.

"He's rather arrogant, don't you think?"

Alec turned to find the man Jace had collided with behind the bar. Up close, he could see the honeyed tone to his skin speckled with glitter and the slant to his eyes, suggesting he was part Asian. Necklaces and chains hung from his neck and wrists and rings were fitted onto his slim fingers. He was tugging at one of the long, dark spikes behind his ears and Alec couldn't help but notice how his nails were painted black and silver.

"Who Jace?" Alec asked, slightly intimidated by the aura the other man exuded.

He smirked. "Is that what they call him?"

"Jace isn't arrogant," Alec explained, peaking another glance at his friend. "He's just... confident."

"And unquestionably straight," the man said to him with a knowing wink. "As for me, I point in more than one direction."

Alec stared at him blankly. "Excuse me?"

In one fluid movement, the man replaced Alec's glass with a small shot of blue liquid. "You're quite the naive one, aren't you?"

Alec eyed the drink suspiciously between his thumb and forefinger. "What's this?"

"A tasty, blue refreshment for a tasty, blue-eyed angel," he replied, nodding consciously at Alec. He lifted up his own shot and swallowed it in one swig.

Stunned by the bartender's words, Alec hid his embarrassment by focusing on the drink at hand. It slid easily down his throat, cool and sweet. When he placed the emptied glass back on the counter, he felt the man's gaze on him and his face flushed harder.

"What's your name?" he purred gently.

"Alec," he mumbled. "You?"

"Magnus Bane," the bartender replied, extending a glittery hand. "The one and only."

Hesitantly, Alec took his offer; it was pleasantly cool and sent a jittery shock through his arm. He shoved his hand back in his pocket.

"Are you single, Alec?" Magnus asked, articulating the end of his name thickly in the back of his throat.

All of sudden, Alec became aware how warm and stifling the room had become. Bodies were so compacted closely in the bar that limbs were tangling with strangers and people were shouting loudly to hear each other over the blaring volume of music. His palms began to sweat. "Yes."

"Oh?" he mused, resting his elbow on the drink pumps beside him. "So if I asked for your number..."

"I'm not -" Alec's mouth slammed shut, unable to utter the word. He stood up from his stool, preparing himself to leave before he was eternally disgraced.

Magnus straightened up and turned his piercing stare onto him. His eyes, much like Jace's, were golden, but his were flecked with a vivid green.

"You're not what?"

Alec clenched his fists in his pockets. "Like you."

"News flash," Magnus said, raising an eyebrow, "No one is like me. I'm as unique as they get."

"You know what I mean."

Magnus folded his arms. "Your denial is an insult to my intelligence."

"I'm not in denial!" Alec hissed, surveying the people around him to ensure no one was eavesdropping. Through the crowd he could see Jace hanging onto the hand of the red haired girl who looked close to slapping him around the face.

"You're just ashamed to admit it," Magnus clarified.

The alcohol in Alec's stomach churned and his mouth was dry. "What do you want from me?"

Magnus looked affronted. "I saw a cute guy and was intrigued, naturally. You should take it as a compliment."

As his cheeks burned, he wondered how someone as colourful and extrovert as Magnus could ever be interested in a plain and pathetic individual like him. And since he had never embraced his natural instincts before, he struggled to understand what he thought about Magnus himself; he was unlike anyone he'd ever met before; he was unlike Jace.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, almost inaudible. From the corner of his eye he saw Jace trying to make his way back to him, his gait unsteady. "I have to go." He indicated to his intoxicated friend approaching them.

"I'm curious as to why you enjoy the company of a straight man who seems incapable of loving anyone other than himself."

Alec shook his head. "He's different if you actually get to know him."

Following a thoughtful stare, Magnus found a pen from his pocket and an old receipt on the counter. He scrawled something down before handing it to Alec. "Would you like to get to know me?"

His heart hammering, Alec reached out to take the scrap of paper.

"Alec!" Jace exclaimed, slinging an arm around his neck. As Alec hastily withdrew his empty hand, Jace looked from him to Magnus in bemusement.

"You've returned for another dose of Jace, I see," he said to Magnus with a sly grin.

"As a matter of fact, I was just giving Alec -"

"It doesn't matter. We're leaving, Jace," Alec interrupted, tugging his friend away.

"No, no, wait," he said, holding his hand up. "What's that?" He nodded to the paper in Magnus' hand.

The nausea in Alec's stomach intensified and he looked desperately at Magnus. He stared back with hard, defensive eyes, calculating the scene before him. As he looked from Alec to Jace and back again, Alec held his breath, willing him to understand, willing him to not divulge his secret.

"It was merely a receipt," Magnus said wearily before tearing it up in front of them. "Nothing important."

Jace shrugged and turned to Alec. "Have you called a taxi?"

"I'll do it now," he said. As he delved into his jeans for his phone, he threw an indebted glance at Magnus. His response was impassive. "What happened with the girl?"

"She talked too much," Jace replied airily. "It was quite annoying really."

From behind the counter, Alec heard Magnus snort. After a quick conversation with the taxi service, they made their way out. Despite sensing Magnus' eyes were following them, Alec resisted the temptation to turn around, fearing the emotion that would be lying in his gaze: anger, disappointment, hope. Instead, Alec chose the easier option so that he could avoid disrupting normality and keep his secret from harm. The decision was better, easier and safer; Magnus was nothing but a bane of his existence.


	2. Chapter 2

Returning home hadn't been as hard as Alec had feared; Jace dozed off when they piled into the taxi and managed to hold in his vomit until they arrived back at their campus and Alec had dragged him out again. Although Jace was stronger than him, Alec was slightly taller, giving him the stability he needed to help Jace walk to their room. Neither of them bothered getting changed and as Jace passed out on top of his mattress, Alec placed a bright orange bucket beside his bed, in case its services were required during the night.

Despite his little alcohol consumption, an irksome pain throbbed at the top of his skull throughout the night. He awoke groggily the following morning and reluctantly hauled himself out of bed. The day crawled by painfully slow: it took only thirty minutes for Alec to finish loading the rest of his belongings in his suitcase and Jace was refusing to move from his own bed. He was usually an early riser, but hangovers affected him more than most and Alec often wondered why Jace was always so eager to intoxicate himself when it would inevitably bring him hell the next day.

In the back of his mind, a thought niggled for attention but its voice was lost amongst the others which complained about having to return home and the intensity of his boredom. Normally Alec could find anything to entertain himself, yet it was as if simplicity was no longer quite enough to satisfy him. He spent the morning vacuuming the floor and dusting every corner he could find and after lunch at a cheap sandwich bar, he endured two movies that he had seen three times already and a few pages of one of Jace's books. Eventually he picked up his mobile and dialled his sister's number. He wished that he had her company but she refused to study law like him or any degree for that matter; she claimed that she wanted to pursuit her career in hair and beauty. Isabelle had moved out of home shortly after and she preferred that Alec visit her when he returned for the holidays than come back home herself so that she didn't have to endure their controlling father and his unequivocal disappointment in her. Although her business had yet to flourish, at least she was happier than him. After she failed to answer his call for the third time, he threw his phone across the bed and ran a hand desperately through his black locks of hair. He checked his watch – it had been nine and a half hours since he had woken up that morning and Jace was still sleeping. The bucket that lay beside his bed had been used twice already.

With nothing else left to do, Alec closed his eyes, shutting out Jace's snores and the smell of his vomit that wafted past his nose occasionally. By creating a tranquil state in his mind, he could think clearer, calmer. This peacefulness allowed the thought that had remained muffled all day to finally have an audible voice. It repeated the same word over and over again, which Alec couldn't quite hear it at first, until it became progressively louder so that his ears were ringing with screams of a name: Magnus.

It hadn't occurred to Alec until then that he had been subconsciously blocking out the memory of Magnus; surrendering to the thought would validate his fear that some part of him - even if it was inconsequential - had been affected by him. He could try to convince himself that thoughts were hardly detrimental, that he could control this slither of a memory he had of him. Yet he knew he would be lying; he had once persuaded himself into the same trap with Jace until he was left aching for an impossible desire and feeling a love that Jace could never reciprocate.

Alec concluded that if he continued to feed his mind which hungered for thoughts of this beguiling man, it would begin to demand more and more, weakening his body as if he were suffering withdrawal symptoms from an addictive drug. There was more logic in fighting his cravings now when they were less prominent. This was assuming of course that Magnus was actually a threat to the chemical balance of his brain. Magnus had been given barely an opportunity to officially present himself upon their initial introduction and Alec wasn't one to judge upon little amounts of knowledge. He would need to learn more before justifying anything about him. Even though this required Alec to see him again, it would cause him little harm to investigate further.

"Jace," Alec said, checking himself quickly in the mirror. His appearance was plain and there was a small hole in his dark jumper but at least his hair had decided to behave today. "I'm just heading out for a while."

Jace grunted in response.

"I'll pick you up a pizza on my way back." He turned at the sound of Jace vomiting in his bucket again.

"Thanks, brother," he mumbled wearily, slumping back onto his pillows.

When he had closed the door behind him, his legs didn't hesitate to make their way out of the building. After resisting the urge all day to think about Magnus, he now found himself unable to do otherwise. He had questions for him, an endless list. Above all, he wanted to satisfy the burning curiosity as to why Magnus had shown an interest in him. What had made him so special?

But then, perhaps he hadn't been special at all. Magnus was clearly more experienced in this area and had confessed himself that he 'pointed in more than one direction'. He could have been flirting with many others that night, giving out his number to anyone who was desperate for it. Magnus had called him naïve. In comparison to the many others that Magnus may or may not have been with, Alec was pitiful, a complete amateur.

By the time he had walked the distance to the bar, his doubts had dampened his mood enough that he was no longer certain about wanting to see Magnus again. However, he had one question in his mind that still demanded answering: how he had known that Alec wasn't interested in girls.

Determined to at least have that explained, he pushed the doors in front of him.

The bar was less crowded this evening and he was able to see the length of the bar table ahead. From where he stood, Magnus was nowhere to be seen. The hope that had been blossoming in his chest died a little, but he was adamant to speak with him today. He hurried over to the counter, head down and slid onto the nearest stool. A bartender approached him.

"What can I get you?"

Alec swallowed nervously. "I was actually wondering if Magnus was about."

The woman who came to serve him gave him a subtle once over before folding her arms dully. "No, he only works here on a Friday," she answered in a monotonous tone as if she had said the same line quite a few times before. "Sorry, darling. Anything else?"

All traces of hope fizzled from Alec. Disheartened and deflated, he shook his head and thanked the woman anyway.

Outside, the spring air felt colder and the world lonelier. He doubted he would find the opportunity to make visits to the bar when he returned home and he reluctantly came to terms with the fact that he would have to wait until term restarted before he could speak with Magnus again.

Remembering that he had promised Jace pizza, he stepped into the next pasta and pizzeria that he passed on the street. The smell of baked dough, meat and garlic hit him as soon as he opened the door and his stomach grouched in hunger. Heading over to the counter, his eyes suddenly fell on the customer currently being served, who wore dark jeans, dressed with a black leather jacket and heavy lace-up boots studded with jewels. His dark hair was spiked at all angles and his bracelets clattered against the counter as he reached for his change.

"Who's next?"

Suddenly dazed, Alec stumbled awkwardly over to the counter. "Margarita pizza, please," he mumbled, suddenly no longer hungry. "And a meat feast," he added hurriedly, almost forgetting that he had come here for Jace.

"Alec." He looked up to find Magnus' eyes on him again. This time, they were lined with gold, matching the colour of his irises and they danced with amusement. "What a pleasant surprise," he continued, leaning casually against the counter with one hand on his hip.

Unable to hold eye contact, Alec stared down at his feet, wondering why he had thought meeting Magnus again could ever have been a good idea.

"And what size would you like: small, medium or large?"

Even though Alec couldn't see Magnus' face, he could sense he was smirking.

"Large," Alec replied, sliding a crumpled note across the counter. He continued to stare at the floor as the cashier walked away to prepare his order.

"I'm sorry, do I frighten you?"

Magnus' voice was gentle and fluid, as if trying to coax Alec's irrational thoughts of him being a threat. Compressing his nerves, Alec looked up again. "No."

Smiling to himself, Magnus murmured, "Good." He tugged at the familiar dark spike of hair behind his ear. "And where will you be heading with your two _large_ pizzas?"

Alec couldn't decide whether his keen observance should unnerve him or whether Magnus was just taking an active interest. "My campus," he replied, hoping the fact he was still in education wouldn't deter Magnus away; he seemed a lot older than him.

"So you're a student." He nodded thoughtfully. "That would explain why you were in the bar last night. What are you studying?"

With a sigh, Alec said, "Law."

"Interesting," Magnus mused as they accepted their boxed pizzas and walked over to the door. "You don't seem the type to study law. Literature, perhaps, or history, French." He held the door open for him, encouraging him with a smile to exit first. This time, Alec was greeted by a warmer gust of breeze, a reminder that summer was approaching.

"I could go far with a law degree," Alec explained once they were both outside.

Magnus watched him curiously. "And where exactly are you intending to go?"

If Alec were to be honest, he would have admitted that he didn't know where he was going. He didn't have a future plan and, truthfully, the idea of finishing his degree scared him. His father had always made his choices for him throughout his education and once that was finished, the years ahead of him were his own – that is, he could pick a career path which his law degree would open for him. The notion didn't ease his concerns.

However, had Alec been able to decide on his own, he wouldn't have known what he wanted to qualify in, nor had he any real hobbies or talents. Magnus had been right to assume he would enjoy the other subjects he'd suggested but either way he would find himself stuck in the same position he was in now, the future a dark trail ahead of him.

"I have a few ideas," Alec said eventually, walking alongside Magnus. "What do you do?" he asked, aiming to steer the conversation in a different direction.

Magnus laughed. "So you haven't assumed that I settled for a career as a barman?"

"Like you assumed that I'm gay?" Alec paused in their path, surprised with himself for finally admitting to it aloud. Wanting to show that his questions was serious, he stared determinedly at Magnus, trying not to think about how much he intimated him.

Bemusement crossed his face. "Am I wrong?"

"No, but..." Alec sighed in exasperation and ran fingers through his floppy fringe; his hand was shaking. "How did you know? Was it something I said or something I did?"

Sensing his irrational fear, Magnus spoke more softly. "It was neither of those things, Alec."

"Then how -"

"I just knew," he said and his eyes twinkled with a wisdom Alec hadn't noticed before. "When you've been dating as long as me, you develop an inkling for these things."

With a sigh, Alec nodded understandingly. "Okay."

Magnus tilted his head coquettishly. "I don't know if I've made it obvious enough but I like you, Alec."

Overcome with embarrassment, an intense heat flooded to Alec's cheeks. They had stopped in the middle of the street and although it was deserted, Alec felt dangerously exposed.

"And I think it's cute when you blush."

"You're just making fun of me now," mumbled Alec, blushing harder.

At his words, Magnus used his thumb to touch the dip in Alec's face beside his eye and ran it smoothly down his cheek bone. Alec's heart hammered loudly in his chest and his breaths became short and uneven.

"You, Alec, are rather attractive," he purred, looking deeply into his eyes. Magnus' face was moving slowly towards his and he thought his heart would give in from the speed it was beating at. As his face inched dangerously closer, Alec's breathing hitched and he gripped his pizza boxes tightly.

Magnus' mouth came to Alec's ear and he whispered carefully, " _Especially_ when you blush." He drew back suddenly, leaving Alec hot and flustered. A car sped past them, and the startling roar of the engine nearly made him drop his boxes. The noise died as the vehicle drove on and Alec realised his legs were wobbling beneath him.

Magnus watched him intently, a subtle smirk crossing his lips.

"I'm retreating to my apartment now. You're more than welcome to join me; it's a lot closer than where you're going."

Alec's attempts at refusal came out in an awkward stutter.

"Or not," said Magnus, his smirk widening.

"I've made plans with a friend," Alec said eventually, his vocal pace uneven.

"You mean the egomaniacal blonde one?"

Alec laughed and his nerves eased a little. "That's the one."

"Then can I leave you with my number?"

Unable to suppress his smile, Alec nodded. As he reached for his phone, Magnus took his hand instead and pulled out a pen with the other. The nib glided smoothly over Alec's palm as Magnus wrote out a line of digits. Once he had secured the lid again, he gently curled Alec's fingers in.

"Call me," he murmured, his tone sweetly tantalising.

"I will," Alec promised.

They parted ways and Alec walked with a newfound buoyancy in his step. _Attractive,_ Magnus had called him and he claimed to enjoy watching him blush. As he replayed the close proximity of Magnus' lips to his own, his stomach tightened. Car horns beeped at him angrily as he blindly crossed roads and stumbled over curbs, his vision scattered with stars.

He stroked the inside of his palm with his fingertips, relishing the memory of the pressure Magnus had applied to it. Would it be too soon to message him tonight? Alec didn't want to seem too keen or to give Magnus the impression that he was desperate for male attention, whether it was true or not. He would get in touch with him, though. That much he was certain of.

* * *

When he approached the door to his room, he took a moment to compose himself; his cheeks were flushed and a childish grin was plastered on his face. Breathing slowly, he pulled the handle.

"At last!" Jace cried, hopping off the end of his bed. "I'm starving."

Even though Alec had seen Jace shirtless numerous times before, the sight of his muscular torso and the golden flecks of hair on his chest never failed to wake the butterflies that constantly resided in his stomach. However, with the new arrival of a vibrant, glittery swarm, the two kaleidoscopes clashed inharmoniously together, causing a nauseous sensation to stir in the pit of his stomach.

"Who said you were having any?" Alec joked, disguising his conflicting emotions with his usual grin.

"I can smell peperoni. You hate peperoni."

Alec opened the lid of the top box and inhaled deeply. "I've had a change of heart."

"Alec," Jace said warningly. "Don't make me fight you for that pizza."

Tugging out a slice from the rest, Alec held it temptingly in the air. "I'd like to see you try."

Leaving no thought for hesitation, Jace hurled himself at Alec. The pair crashed to the floor and the pizza boxes slid across the carpet. They fought playfully for a while, grappling each other's limbs and dodging oncoming fists. With thanks to his strength, Jace was able to pin Alec to the ground with an arm wrapped tightly around one of his legs. Squashing his torso between his knees, Jace gripped onto Alec's wrist that held up the pizza slice.

"Give. Me. That," he ordered, his words separated by the harsh exertions of his breath.

Despite the mere playful nature of their positioning, Alec couldn't help but feel very conscious of where his body touched Jace's and the way his muscles contracted under his effort to hold Alec down.

"Alright!" Alec yelled, desperate to create some distance between them. He released his hold on the pizza, allowing Jace to take it from him and then scoop up the box of the remaining.

"Cheers," he said with a mouthful of bread base, spicy meatballs and cheese.

"Don't mention it," replied Alec, taking his own and laying down on his bed. He leaned over to his bedside table and pulled open the drawer. It was empty aside from a packet of aspirin that hid at the back. "Here," he said, tossing the medicine over to Jace.

"Pizza and pills." Jace sighed contentedly. "The perfect hangover cure."

"What would you do without me?" Alec asked, throwing a bottle of water over to him.

Jace caught it and unscrewed the cap with his teeth. He gulped the contents within seconds. "Probably lying dead in a ditch," he replied with a grin.

Alec opened his own pizza box. Despite his sudden lack of hunger, he forced himself to take a bite anyway. "Yeah that sounds about right."

"I like to think my death will be more dramatic than that. Something heroic and explosive."

"Why? It's not as if you'll remember it."

"I won't," Jace said, leaning back on one elbow as he continued to eat. "But other people will. I want to be remembered."

 _I'll remember you_ , Alec thought bleakly and he swallowed his tasteless mouthful slowly. "I'll make sure they write something worthy on your grave stone." He watched as Jace devoured another slice in three bites and wondered what had happened to his own appetite.

"That barman took a keen interest in you."

If Alec hadn't forced the morsel of pizza down his throat, he probably would have spat it out. "What?"

"Come on, Alec. Don't play dumb." He swallowed his food before continuing. "You know the one: Asian; sparkly; looked like he walked straight out of a hair gel advert. What was going on with him?"

Alec scowled. "You're hilarious, Jace. And probably jealous because it wasn't you getting the attention this time."

The playful smirk returned to Jace's face. "True. Just saying what I saw, though."

"He gave me a free shot, big deal." Alec resisted a sigh of relief when Jace responded with an indifferent shrug. "We should get some rest," he continued, marking the closure of their previous topic.

"Yeah that doesn't sound like a bad idea. I need to sleep off this hangover."

He waited for Jace to consume every morsel and then fall back into a contented sleep before he rose from his mattress again. Unable to eat, he tipped his cold pizza into the bin and flattened the boxes beside it.

The room had become dark and the only light in the room was the white glow of the moon that filtered through the window. He looked over at Jace and watched his chest rise and fall steadily and the way his face softened when he slept, all arrogance and vigour washed from his expression. His face was beautifully serene. Alec's gaze then fell to the ink on his palm and his heart contracted. He was foolish to pine over someone impossible, especially when someone _possible_ now existed. Yet did their potentiality mean he had to settle for them? If there was one then surely there would be others. He couldn't deny, however, that Magnus was unique and that the thought of him made his stomach twist into a knot. Nevertheless, as long as he continued to conceal his secrets, there was no future for him with Magnus or with anyone.

And so, with a lonely heart, he changed into a worn t-shirt and an old pair of pyjama bottoms before collapsing onto his bed, willing himself to fall asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

He endured a restless sleep. Conflicting thoughts taunted Alec's mind throughout the night and his skin crawled uncomfortably as if he were unclean. The moment it reached the reasonable hour of five, he dragged himself to the showers, picking up spare garments and a towel before he left the room.

The bathroom was normally empty at this time in the morning on a Sunday, which Alec favoured more; it gave him time to think and to spend as long as he wanted under the warm spray of water. Placing his clean clothes on the bench separating two rows of adjoining shower cubicles, he peeled of his t-shirt and tattered pyjama bottoms. He then stepped into one of the larger cubicles, slung his towel over the hook and pulled the curtain across.

Once under the shower head, he allowed his body to relax and for the water rivulets to ease the tension from his muscles. He enjoyed the feel of the shower gently spattering his face and how the steam opened up his pores, cleansing his skin and washing away all traces of dirt.

However, his mind was still plagued with thoughts of Magnus which had kept his mind awake ever since the man had left him standing by the curb with a newfound high, his mobile number inscribed on his palm. In his tranquil state under the water, Alec closed his eyes and tried to remember the sharp, glittered angles of Magnus' face and the sparkles in his hair. He thought about how his eyes seemed to read his every thought and the interest he'd shown when Alec spoke, even though he had said very little. The muscles of his stomach tightened involuntarily as he recalled another detail. The way he had complimented Alec – _attractive._ The smell of ink and smoke and cologne on his clothes that masculinised the effeminate splashes of colour around his eyes – the eyes that looked at him with desire. The feel of his hand in his. Electric. Mutual, unlike with Jace. Magnus' lips against his skin; they had promised more.

Alec opened his eyes and exhaled the breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. His mind was reeling with discoveries he hadn't acknowledged at the time and the processing of them now made him breathless. He groaned and bowed his head against the tiled wall, letting the water stream down his back. No matter how long he stayed under the shower, the feel of Magnus would still linger.

Distracting himself with the lyrics of a song, he lathered his hair and body with soap and waited for the suds to slide to his feet before he cut the water supply to the showerhead. With pruned palms and shivering limbs, he wrapped his towel around him and dried the excess droplets from his skin. The shower room was still empty when he pulled the curtain aside and after he dressed and rubbed his hair dry, he padded back to his room.

"You're up unusually early," Jace remarked as Alec entered the bedroom. He was grabbing a change of clothes to take to his own shower, his hair tousled from sleep.

"And?" Alec questioned, as if having a shower before six in the morning wasn't unusual for him.

"And I'm just saying it's unusually early." He flipped a towel over his bare shoulder. After a day of rest, vitality now seemed to radiate from his body and there was a refined assurance to his step. "I'm going to the gym this morning to sweat out the last of this alcohol in my system. You coming?" Reaching up to the door frame, Jace began to lift his body.

"I guess," replied Alec, sitting on the edge of his bed. He discretely observed Jace pulling himself up and then lowering his body down again. Strength rippled through his arms and Alec hastily averted his eyes.

"I could barely move yesterday. It felt like death was finally upon me and all I could think about was telling you how I aspired to die a hero." He chuckled breathlessly.

Alec mustered a ghost of a smile and Jace's laughter faltered.

"You okay?" Jace momentarily paused at his task to look at him.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

Dangling from one arm, Jace scratched the back of his hair uncomfortably, his eyes touched with concern. "Listen, Alec, I'm sorry. I know it's been another year today since what happened with your mum and I wasn't thinking before I spoke..."

The sound of Jace's words were drowned out by the overwhelming guilt that flooded into Alec's mind. How had he forgotten? After what had happened those years ago, he never believed such a thing could be possible, that the recollection would never cease to haunt him. The memories it brought filled him with such remorse that he often suffered from nightmares during the nights which lead up to this day. He had accepted it as an interminable punishment. Yet this time something had changed. Somehow he had been relieved of its torment – until now.

"Alec?"

Blinking out of his daze, Alec looked up at Jace, who still hung from the door frame. "I'm fine," he said at last with a half-hearted shrug. "And quit doing that. You know you're not supposed to."

Jace released his grip and thudded to the ground. "I know, but rules are made for breaking."

Alec rolled his eyes, knowing that disagreeing with him would be futile.

"Anyway," Jace announced, seemingly satisfied with Alec's wellbeing. "Shower time." He indicated down the hallway with his thumb.

With a nod, Alec laid back onto his bed, his head resting on his pillow. The ceiling above him was smooth and white aside from a dark blemish above the wardrobe where Jace had put a set of lit candles one drunken night. A familiar sense of pain seared through his chest and he squeezed his eyes shut. Images of rage and fire and loss flared before his lids and he suddenly sat upright with the urge to vomit the little pizza he had consumed the day before. He held his head between his hands. As his fingers scrunched into his hair, he breathed slowly, the only way he knew to ease the tsunami of emotion that roiled in his stomach. Once the tides had begun to settle, he reopened his eyes. The grief that brimmed to his waterline partially obscured his vision and when he looked above him again he could imagine darker marks and red blotches that marred the innocent white. It was as if his once flawless soul was cast above him in judgement, stained with the blood of another. Reaching for his mobile on his bedside table, he wrote out a text with a shaky hand.

 _Call me soon. I need you._

* * *

Their session at the gym had served as a distraction for Alec. With every weight lifted and every bar pulled, another wave of negativity was released from his body. Although his mood levels were still lower than normal after they had finished, he felt more confident about seeing the day through. Following a satisfying breakfast of fried food and caffeine, they made their way back up to their room, Jace checking his mobile every so often as Alec chatted away aimlessly.

Once inside, Alec wandered over to his bed to find his phone flashing brightly: he had several unread texts in his inbox and seven missed calls. Dropping his gym bag by his suitcase, he redialled the number. Jace flopped onto his own bed, his mobile still in his hand.

"Alec," a soft voice breathed urgently down the phone after the second ring.

"Izzy," he replied, a touch of fondness to his tone at the sound of his sister's voice.

He heard her sniffle before she spoke again. "How are you?"

"I'm... managing." Deciding that was as much as he could say on the matter, he asked the same to her.

"Me too," she claimed, but there was a definite wavering to her voice. "I'm sorry I missed your calls yesterday. I left my phone at some guy's house who was a total jerk because he said that he didn't want -"

"Iz," Alec interrupted, all too familiar with her tendency to excessively elaborate every event in her life. "Isabelle - it's okay, don't worry about it."

"Well, anyway, I've got it back now. I made sure of that."

"And are you okay?"

Isabelle snorted down the phone. "Of course. I may need to change my number again, though."

Alec chuckled lightly. "You know, you never needed looking after, not even by your big brother." He smiled wistfully. "You fight your own battles - even mine, sometimes."

Her giggle was like a melodious tune that soothed the residue tension and discomfort in his chest. "Yeah, well, I know I can count on you if I need you." She paused awkwardly for a few seconds before continuing; Isabelle had many talents, yet sharing sentimental words had never been one of them. "When are you coming over?"

"Probably not today. I'm not sure what Jace wants to do and the drive home usually takes us a couple of hours. I can come over tomorrow, though."

"Could you stay the night? Maybe even two?"

It was rare for his sister to ask him to stay at her house. Her doors were always open to him but only when she mustered the courage to ask for his company did he know she was in a vulnerable state. "Of course."

She uttered a small sigh of relief. "Have a safe journey home," she murmured, a strain to her spoken words. "Tell that to Jace especially."

"I will. I love you."

"Me too."

When his sister ended the call, Alec's heart contracted but he masked the fraction of pain and longing he felt to be with his sister at this time with the forced smile he was so used to wearing.

"Everything alright?" Jace asked, finally looking up from his phone.

"Yeah, everything's fine," Alec said in his most convincing voice. "She told me to tell you to stay safe, not that you'll listen."

Jace attempted a modest shrug but was belied by his grin. "I can't make any promises."

Sliding his phone into his pocket, Alec asked, "When should we head home?"

"Later," Jace decided. "I've got stuff to do."

Alec frowned in bemusement. "You've got _stuff_ to do?" He didn't try to hide the suspicion in his voice and he raised his eyebrows as he awaited a response.

"That's what I said." Jace rose gracefully from his bed and turned to smooth the crumpled sheets.

"What you say and what you intend are often two very different things, Jace." From where he was sat, Alec folded his arms. "So what reckless idea have you really got planned?"

"Who said anything about reckless?" Jace leaned his back against the wall alongside his bed and pushed his hands in his pockets.

Alec didn't need to catch the fleeting reappearance of Jace's grin to know that his intentions weren't as innocent as he proclaimed. It was moments such as this where Alec thought he knew Jace better than Alec knew himself. Although, perhaps this was because Jace never felt he had anything to hide. If asked a question, he would answer truthfully, regardless of whether the truth would hurt or not. He was honest - more than Alec was with himself.

"It doesn't really need saying, Jace."

Jace shook his head at the floor, trying to hide his smirk. "Listen," he said with a nonchalant laugh. "I just need to find someone -"

"Who?"

"Clary."

"Who's Clary?" Alec asked, sitting upright, his expression puzzled from a name he'd never heard before.

"You know," Jace said, his golden eyes dancing with zeal. "The girl from the bar."

The wound on Alec's heart throbbed. "Didn't you say she talked too much?"

"I've decided to give her another chance."

"Right." Alec sighed. An invisible weight lay on his chest, one that couldn't be moved physically. He rested his knees on his elbows in that hope that it would alleviate some of the pressure. "How are you even going to find her?"

"Well it says on her Facebook page she's studying Art, so –"

"You've stalked her on _Facebook?_ "

"Alec, are you doing that thing again where you put words into my mouth?" Jace cocked his head to one side. "It's hardly considered stalking when the person of interest has willingly provided information for anyone to gain access to."

"Whatever," Alec muttered, crossing his arms tighter. "I don't have to come with you on this stupid search do I?"

Jace shrugged. "It's your choice. Either way I'm still going."

They were the words that Jace used every time before he ventured off and every time Alec would give in. This time, however, Alec foresaw himself failing to contain his emotions and feared they would explode from him in uncontrollable bursts should they find this girl. Even though he relished at the thought of ruining Jace's chances with her, he valued Jace's happiness and their friendship more.

"You go on ahead." The feel of the weight inside him intensified. "Just let me know when you're ready to go home."

Jace clicked the side of his tongue against his teeth and winked. "No problem." He threw open the door and took an enthusiastic step over the threshold. "Here goes nothing - except a shed of dignity, perhaps. Then again, I've got more than enough of that."

Alec watched him disappear between the stray waves of hair that fell in front of his face. He waited for Jace's tuneful whistle to fade before he wandered absently across the room and pushed the door shut. The flat of his hand stayed pressed against it to steady himself. His fingers were splayed wide and he breathed slowly. As he tried to clear the swarm of thoughts that had rushed into his head, he focused on a patch of laminate that has peeled away from the wood, a subtle tear in the coating that would only worsen with time.

He uttered a piteous sigh and rested his forehead against the arm extended in front of him. There had been countless girls involved in Jace's life and he had thought that time would ease the pain of knowing he would never be what Jace wanted. Yet much like the tear in the laminate, time wasn't the solution. What he needed was something else - not a distraction, but a cure to mend his sickness.

Alec lifted his other palm and looked at the faint digits etched on his skin that he could now recite from memory.

 _Not something,_ he thought folding his fingers delicately into his palm. _Someone._


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: I always like to thank those who review and since I couldn't send a private message to Guest 'missy4', I'd like to openly thank her now. I really do appreciate every favourite, every follow and every review (even the critical ones!) because they encourage me to persevere and help me to improve. :)**

* * *

 _Hi. It's Alec._

Staring at the text on his screen, Alec's thumb hovered hesitantly over the send button. It suddenly occurred to him that Magnus may have forgotten his name or that he knew more than one Alec. Or worse, Magnus could have written his number wrong. Alec backspaced each letter and restarted.

 _Hey. Is this Magnus?_

He deleted his words again hastily; even he could hear the pathetic tone to the text. Glancing at his palm, Alec could remember the pressure of the nib as it released confident lines of ink against his skin. The movements had been certain.

 _It's me. Alec. The guy you met at the bar. You gave me your number yesterday. Outside the pizza place._

If his previous attempt had been pathetic, what Alec had written now screamed 'LOSER' in bright neon lights. Desperate was the last impression he wanted to give, no matter how shamefully obvious it already was. Seeing no other alternative, he wrote out the three words of his initial text and sent the message without another moment's thought. He resisted the urge to swear when he realised that his phone had autocorrected his name to 'Alex' and he sent another rash text.

 _I meant Alec._

Smacking a palm to his forehead, Alec let his mobile slide from his hand and onto his bed.

 _Idiot,_ he thought and he grimaced. Before he could wonder how long he might have to wait for a response, his phone vibrated in two quick bursts and the screen lit up.

 _I believe my words were CALL ME._

Alec stared at the message, his hand still pressed to his face, until the screen became dark again. There had barely been time for him to worry about Magnus' reply before the man was demanding to hear his voice. Judging by the speed of his response, Alec knew he would be ready and waiting for him to make the call. He tentatively picked up the phone and reread the text before him. When Alec had decided to message Magnus, he hadn't thought this far in advance. He wasn't sure what he wanted to say and it would be impossible to form coherent sentences whilst battling against nerves.

Realising he had delayed the call long enough, he promptly hit his thumb against the telephone icon and pressed the mobile to his ear. The dial tone sounded unnervingly loud and he quickly glanced at the door to ensure it was still closed.

The voice that answered sparked an electrical impulse in his heart. "Bane speaking." His words sounded firm but they were spoken with the same fluidity that Alec remembered.

"Hi," said Alec and his throat felt hoarse. "Um... It's me, Alec. If you remember?"

"Yes, the blue-eyed angel, I remember."

"Right." In the background of the receiving line he could hear a pitiful meowing, followed by a distant hushing noise and the sound of a door slamming.

"My apologies," Magnus said, his voice coming back within hearing range. "I never realised cats could be so demanding until I adopted one. A questionable decision, I'm aware." He stopped speaking to take a sip of something. "So, Alec – Alexander. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Now that his identity had been established, his mind was empty of thoughts. What did one say to the first man who had ever shown an interest in him and had given him his number? It was evident that by calling him he was showing a mutual interest but where was he supposed to go from there?

When the answer dawned on him, his words tumbled clumsily out of his mouth. "Do you want to hang out?"

" _Hang out?_ " Magnus questioned and Alec wanted to hit himself for his childish vocabulary.

"I mean do you want to go out… with me? Unless you're busy then –"

"I may be able to rearrange my schedule. What did you have in mind?"

The phone was held in Alec's hand so tightly that it began to slip in his sweaty grasp. It was Jace who always came up with the ideas and Alec would simply follow; his suggestions were dull in comparison.

"I... well, I don't... I don't mind." His other hand grabbed a fistful of hair frantically. "Do you like coffee?"

"I do, although I'm more of a tea person. I've recently developed a craving for Lapsang souchong."

"Lopso-what?"

"Lapsang souchong," Magnus repeated patiently. "Most either love it or hate it."

"Like marmite?"

There was a serenity to Magnus' laughter which slightly eased Alec's anxiety. "Precisely. Although, I think the stuff is vile."

"Me too." As Alec sat on the edge of his bed, he brought his hand down from his hair and rubbed it anxiously against his thigh.

"Are you familiar with Taki's Diner, Alexander?"

Magnus' choice to use what he had rightfully assumed was Alec's birth name struck a chord with him; only his parents had reverted to it whenever he had misbehaved as a child. Hearing it again from someone who thought he was attractive was strangely nostalgic and gave him that same sense of vulnerability he would feel after a scolding. "I don't think so."

"It's a café situated not far from where we were yesterday. The food, in my opinion, is exceptional and it's not widely known so you never have to wait long to be served."

An inconspicuous café also meant that the chances of being caught by someone Alec knew were unlikely. Although Magnus hadn't mentioned this, he knew it was why he had suggested the discrete location and Alec felt touched by his consideration. "Sounds great," said Alec and a peculiar grin he had never worn before grew on his face.

"Perfect!" Magnus exclaimed. "Would you be ready in an hour?"

"I'm ready now."

"Of course, I forgot that you're naturally hot – no glamour required," muttered Magnus facetiously. "I, however, need time putting my face on and finding the right shoes."

Alec mumbled something about not being hot, thankful that Magnus couldn't see his face, before agreeing that they meet in an hour's time.

"Then I look forward to seeing you soon, Alec."

"O-okay," Alec stammered, his nerves returning stronger than ever now that it was guaranteed he would see Magnus again. His goodbye cut off short as the call was ended prematurely by his quivering thumb.

Lowering the phone slowly from his ear, he turned his attention to the full length mirror attached to the wardrobe door. He wore his usual jeans with a dark grey jumper that was worn at the elbows and hem. There was nothing sexy about his outfit and his physique didn't have much to offer: he had a wiry body with skin that was too pale against his black hair and there were too many sharp angles to his face.

Without giving it much thought, he pulled the jumper over his head and unzipped Jace's suitcase. All of his clothes and possessions had been carefully packed, so Alec lifted a light blue t-shirt from the top of the pile. It smelt of Jace. Tugging the zips closed, he hurriedly put the item on. The material was soft and clung to his frame; he didn't have Jace's thick biceps but Alec figured it was a better option than an old jumper. He grabbed a can of deodorant from his gym bag and surrounded himself in a cloud of spray, spluttering on the fumes. Taking a final look at his appearance, he grabbed his wallet and keys and paced the room until it was time to leave.

As he made for the door, his mobile vibrated in his pocket and he fumbled with his hands to read the message he had received.

It was from Jace.

 _Mission accomplished._

* * *

It had started to rain heavily the moment he stepped outside and so Alec opted for his car as opposed to travelling by foot. Ever since he had quit his part-time job, maintaining his vehicle had been difficult. Nevertheless, he decision to compromise had become necessary once his work load had increased in his second year. Eventually, he had reasoned that walking was a better alternative to earning money that caused more stress than it was worth. Although Jace had initially complained about having to walk everywhere, he swiftly changed his tune once Alec had said that he was more than welcome to split the cost of petrol with him.

Normally Alec didn't mind walking in the rain; however, he didn't think that sodden clothes would make a good impression. As he drove, his mind turned to Jace and whether he had managed to win the affection of that girl - Clary, he had called her. He wondered what they were talking about, what they might decide to do and where they would go. His fingers gripped the steering wheel tight until his knuckles turned whiter than his skin already was and he shook the thoughts from his head; now wasn't the time to be contemplating them. Keeping an eye on the road ahead, he took his mobile from his pocket in order to glance at the map on his screen which he had highlighted with the café's location. According to the directions, he had to turn off the main street and onto a narrow road.

Taki's Diner appeared on his left after a line of bordered up shops with old signs hanging from their hinges. Unlike its neighbours, the café was relatively vibrant, like a flower flourishing despite the weeds surrounding it. The name of the establishment was fitted above the main entrance in bold, orange letters that were weathered at the corners. Just in front of the doors stood a notice board which listed the delicacies of the day and there were metal chairs and round tables placed haphazardly in the courtyard. Rain hammered off their surfaces; if it was busy, Alec wouldn't find out until he entered.

 _It couldn't be more discrete,_ he thought as he squeezed his car into the limited space provided. Once he was parked, he unbuckled his seat belt and twisted around so that he was looking out the rear window. Through the lashings of rain, the street was empty. Magnus hadn't said exactly where to meet; however, judging by the weather, he assumed it would be wiser to wait inside. Failing to find a jacket in the back seat of his car, he made a dash for the building.

Inside it was warm and full of life. Alec was astonished to see so many people buzzing about in a place he hadn't known existed until that morning. Directly ahead of him there was a counter which several waiters and waitresses flitted behind, preparing orders and calculating change. Various sized pieces of abstract art were hung along the back wall behind them and in the center there was a full menu printed on a large board that was the same shade of orange as the letters outside. The rest of the room was filled with rows of booths and small, circular tables with a chair either side for couples. Alec quickly scanned the scene before him to ensure Magnus wasn't here already. Deciding he was the first to have arrived, Alec slid into an empty booth and immediately picked up a menu on the table. He couldn't focus on the words, but it seemed better than twiddling his thumbs and staring into space.

"Hi there! My name's Kaelie, I'm your waitress for today. Can I get you anything to drink?" The girl who had approached Alec was tall and slim and didn't look much older than him. She had a small, pointed face like a pixie and her blonde hair was streaked with green dye. As she waited for an answer, she blinked at him with startling blue eyes.

"Um, just a black coffee, please."

"Sure thing!" she said as she scrawled down his order onto her notepad. Before she walked away, she took the drinks menu from Alec. Without it, he felt too exposed to the people around him. He shrunk back into his seat and he could feel his heart pound more prominently with his body pressed against the leather cushion behind him. His attention was caught by the eyes of two teenage girls. One of them had wavy auburn hair and she was whispering to her friend opposite who had a sketchpad clutched in one hand and a pencil in the other. Both of them were staring in his direction and both of them were smiling. He looked beside him, fearing he had sat in a booth that was already occupied. When he found it was empty, he looked back at the ogling females; they were giggling. Turning quickly away, he folded his arms across his chest and shook his head so that his hair fell like a curtain over his face, flicking excess water droplets onto the table's surface.

"Hello, Alec."

At the sound of his name, Alec lifted his head and his hair fell back from his eyes. Magnus was looking down at him curiously and Alec's automatic response caused him to rise to his feet so fast that he banged his hip against the table. He winced from the pain. "Hi."

Magnus was dressed in a pair of black leather trousers with a gold seam running down the side of each leg. Over a low-cut top that revealed a lot of tanned skin, he wore a long gilded chain and a crepe blazer which matched the colour of his cerise loafers. The sleeves were cut off mid-forearm, exposing the gilded bracelets he wore on one wrist.

"I like your shirt," Magnus complimented, resting the black umbrella he was holding against the table.

Alec touched the clothing bashfully. "Thanks," he said, before stammering out a polite comment about Magnus' shoes.

"I'm glad you like them," said Magnus, taking the seat opposite him. "I came across them during my last visit to Norway –"

"Is this a date?" The question blurted out before Alec could stop himself and he had leaned forward suddenly with his elbows on the table.

Magnus' mouth remained hung open after the interruption of his discourse and he raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "As far as I'm aware," he began slowly, "A date is when two people who have expressed an interest in each other arrange a get together. So, yes, this would be a date."

"Right," said Alec, sitting back again.

"Unless you've changed your mind in which case this could be rather awkward."

"No, no!" Alec exclaimed, his eyes wide. "It's just... I've never been on a date before so I wasn't sure... you know, I don't really know what happens..." His voice trailed off as he realised the stupidity of what he was saying and he thought with a sickening feeling that Magnus was now regretting that he came to meet him.

"No one knows," Magnus said and he was smiling. "The whole point of a date is to find out whether you're compatible with each other."

"Oh," said Alec, relaxing his shoulders a little.

"Here's your coffee!" Kaelie announced as she returned to their table with Alec's beverage. He thanked her as she placed the mug and saucer down.

"Is that all you want?" questioned Magnus with a tone of surprise.

Alec shrugged. "I like my coffee plain." He took a tentative tip to assess the temperature of the liquid as Kaelie asked whether Magnus wanted anything.

"I'll have the _Night of the Iguana Chocolate_ _Chai_ , please. And a slice of that scrumptious-looking ginger cake I saw on the counter when I walked in."

 _Great,_ Alec thought miserably as Kaelie took his order and left. _We've already failed the first compatibility test._

"So you've never dated anyone before?" Magnus asked, turning his attention back to him.

"No, not really." Deciding his coffee was too hot for now, he placed it back on the saucer.

"You can always tell that a person is holding back details when they say 'Not _really_.'"

"Well, there was someone," said Alec and he paused for a moment as he decided whether he should confess. "Her name was Rebecca. I was eleven."

Magnus tried resisting a smirk. "And what happened between you two?"

"She met Jace three days later and forgot all about me."

Following a snort, Magnus said, "I find myself disliking this Jace the more I hear his name."

"It's not his fault that girls prefer him. And I don't even care because -" He choked on his words again and Magnus gazed at him sympathetically.

"If it's any consolation, you have two admirers over there," he stated, nodding to the giggling girls.

Alec rolled his eyes. "Hardly. They're laughing at me."

"They think you're hot." He waggled his fingers at them and they giggled more, lowering their faces to hide their mirth.

"No they don't."

"I do."

At this, Alec began to blush but traces of a smile lay on his lips. He hadn't yet worked out how to respond effectively to Magnus' charm and although he was finally learning to enjoy it, part of him still wanted to recoil in alarm, like a frightened snail retreating back into his shell. It had always been hard for Alec to find the right words to translate his feelings. He noticed Magnus' hand resting on the table and wondered if he should take it like he had seen people do in movies. Before he could make up his mind, however, Magnus had taken his hand back and interlaced it with the other.

"You're not just saying that to be nice, right?"

Magnus made a distinct tutting noise. "Really, Alec? Why on earth would anyone waste their breath lying to a stranger about their attraction to them? Unless they were a prostitute, of course, which, before you ask, I most certainly am not."

"It's just a bit surprising because you're so…" He gestured to Magnus as a whole, from the style of clothes he wore to the confident spikes of his hair. "So different – compared to me. In a good way," he added hurriedly. "Because I'm boring."

"On the contrary, I find you very charming." Magnus shifted in his seat so that his knee bumped against Alec's under the table. An electrical current passed between them and Alec held his leg in place, not wanting to break the connection. "Do you horse ride by any chance?"

Scoffing in amusement, Alec claimed that he didn't. "Why would you think that?"

"It was more to do with my predilection for equestrians; they're usually quite charming. Although, with hands like yours, I did wonder."

Alec lifted his palms up on the table, his slender fingers slightly bent, and looked at their calloused texture and his faint scar lines. A memory ran through him and he shuddered. "What's wrong with my hands?"

"Oh, nothing at all," Magnus reassured, placing one of his own hands in Alec's. "Quite the opposite, actually." He stroked his thumb along the faint line of digits still marked on Alec's skin; his nail was painted metallic gold. "They're the hands of someone who knows how to use them."

Another jolt of electricity coursed up Alec's arm and his little finger twitched. "Well, I... I guess I practise archery." When Magnus raised his eyebrows with interest, Alec added, "I mean, I'm okay - I'm no Robin Hood."

"Modesty is an attractive trait," Magnus murmured, folding his fingers around Alec's hand. "And hands like yours are a gift from the Angels themselves."

Alec was aware of his erubescent cheeks belying his embarrassment but he needed to validate Magnus' claims; he needed to know that he wasn't here just to make a mockery of him. Only 48 hours ago Alec had been sat in his room, revelling in that end of term feeling and, like every other day, wondering when his heart would be liberated from its prison, when he would no longer be a victim of unrequited love. Now he had his hand in another man's who had never once considered Jace in place of him and saw Alec as someone different - someone better - than the person he had always thought he was. And when Alec looked directly into Magnus' eyes, he could see past the glamour, as Magnus had pushed Alec's pretence aside, and realised that his claims were genuine; Magnus had believed in him from the moment they had met.

When Kaelie arrived with Magnus' order, Alec snatched his hand back as if he had received an electric shock. Magnus thanked her before she left them once more.

"I'm sorry," Alec mumbled as Magnus stirred his tea with a long spoon.

"What for?" Magnus put the utensil to one side and focused on Alec instead.

"For being awkward and difficult." He mustered a feeble laugh. "For not being good at this... flirting stuff. It's all new and weird to me, like trying to learn another language."

Magnus waved off his apology. "Don't be sorry," he said and he sighed. "I'm surprised I haven't scared you off already. To be honest, it's been a while so excuse me if I come across as a little desperate." He offered him a guilty smile.

"Why so long?" As soon as Alec asked, he sensed that it was a difficult question for Magnus to answer; his body tensed and he hesitated before he spoke.

"Oh, various reasons - work and such." He laughed lightly but Alec doubted the authenticity to his cheer. Wanting to ease Magnus like he had done for him, Alec bravely reached out his hand again. To his horror, his wrist collided with the mug of tea and it tipped on its side, causing the contents to spill onto Magnus' lap. Alec froze in place as Magnus looked from the upturned mug, to his lap and finally to Alec.

"Magnus, I am so sor –"

Magnus held up a hand to stop him. "It's fine, Alexander. I need napkins, though."

"Yes, of course," Alec said, scrambling to his feet. As he made for the counter, he wondered if Magnus took back what he had said about his hands and, more importantly, whether the date was now ruined. With any luck, his leather trousers hadn't been that expensive.

Alec heard him before he saw him. The sound of such a rich, harmonious laugh had always filled Alec with a tingling warmth, as he found it did now - until he remembered where he was and who he was with. The realisation that Jace was here also made his heart jump so high in his throat that he was choking for air once he had stumbled back to the table, his hands empty of any napkins. He sat low in his seat and his face was completely pale.

Despite the fact that his lap was still drenched in tea, Magnus' face showed evident concern for him. "Alec? Are you alright?"

With his eyes full of alarm, Alec gathered the little composure he could before he spoke. His voice came out in a whisper. "Jace is here."

Magnus closed his eyes for a brief moment and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. "Wonderful," he murmured before opening his eyes again and rising to his feet.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Alec asked timorously, trying not to stare at the stain on Magnus' trousers.

"He's flirting with our waitress by the looks of it."

"Get down!" Alec hissed. "He'll see you!"

"The redhead next to him doesn't look too impressed."

"Oh, _God,_ " Alec moaned, shrinking lower into his seat with his face in his hands. He sat like that for a moment, wishing the leather cushion would swallow him whole or at least teleport him to some faraway location. When he realised Magnus hadn't spoken again, he lifted his head to find him standing outside the booth, tossing a note onto the table.

Alec's stomach twisted unpleasantly and he ignored the wave of nausea that washed over him. "Are you leaving?"

"We can hardly enjoy our date now that your boyfriend has decided to gate crash." He flicked residue liquid from his thighs and straightened his blazer.

"B-but he's not m-my _boyfriend!_ "

Magnus sighed impatiently. "Are you leaving or staying, Alec?"

"I can't… I… he might see me." And Alec was appalled to hear the whimper in his own voice.

"There's another exit at the back," Magnus said and when Alec didn't move he snapped his fingers promptly. "Quickly now."

As Magnus turned away, Alec followed apprehensively after, praying that Jace wouldn't notice him. He still hadn't relaxed once they had created distance from him. On the far side of the room there was a corridor which was lined either side with restrooms, a cleaning cupboard and a door marked 'NO UNAUTHORISED ACCESS'. The door at the end of hallway, which clearly had been put in place as a fire escape, was propped open with a wooden post. Outside, the rain continued to cascade down and the alleyway that the door had opened out to was partly flooded. Once Alec had clambered out, he stumbled over a bin bag and almost fell on Magnus who caught him by his elbows. Heavy water droplets hit them fast and hard and Alec began to shiver in his sodden t-shirt.

"I'm sorry," Alec said again, having to speak louder over the noisy lashings of rain that hit the steel bin lids along the wall.

"You should be; you made me forget my umbrella."

Alec's face contorted, uncertain whether Magnus' anger was genuine. "I've messed this up. I'm the worst date ever."

"Oh, don't be so melodramatic," Magnus muttered before he pulled Alec against him and kissed him firmly on the mouth.

The moment was so unexpected that Alec forgot to breathe and air became trapped in his lungs. He gripped onto Magnus' arms for support, the cold water on his skin making his hands numb, and he let Magnus' ardent kisses ease the breath from him. Once he had worked out how to inhale and exhale through his nose, his head stopped spinning at a dizzying speed and he could relax into the rhythmic movement of their wet lips. With their bodies pressed tightly together, Alec was able to feel their hearts beating erratically together and a flame exploded inside of him. It wasn't until Magnus attempted to caress his tongue with his own that his head jolted back in surprise.

Breathing hard, he blinked away the rain drops from his eyelashes and observed the dark streaks of make-up running down Magnus' face and the thick clumps of hair that had lost their height and were now plastered to his head. In this state, Magnus' appearance seemed to have lost a few years and there was a vulnerable flush to his cheeks.

"Shall we continue our date at mine?"

When Alec's eyes widened with consternation, Magnus rested a gentle hand along Alec's cheek. "When I fall, I fall hard." His eyes glinted with an afflicted yearning. "So if you're having second thoughts about all this, now would be the best time to say."

Alec beheld the opportunity with caution. For so long he had been waiting for the miracle that would set his heart free but he hadn't anticipated the possibility of it being saved by someone else's heart. Yet could that someone heal the damage caused by another or would their company merely act as a bandage to cover the wounds? Either way, the option was surely better than suffering alone in what felt like a interminable tunnel that shed no light and no glimmer of hope.

Alec crushed his lips against Magnus' once more, grabbing a fistful of his wet collar and having little care for the water sliding down his own back. His gesture was shown gratification with fingers messaging behind his ear and despite the cold temperature, the burning flame of desire in Alec's chest was keeping him warm and alive. Eventually, he managed to pull himself away and he smiled at the promising prospect before him. "No, no second thoughts."


	5. Chapter 5

_"_ Max _," Alec growled, throwing his pen down onto his page. "For the last time, I don't want to play -" He stopped when he found Jace at the foot of his bed, grinning. Even though he was only 15, a year younger than Alec, he had already lost most of the baby fat in his cheeks and his jaw was significantly more defined. His eyes, however, had retained all the vitality which Alec had beheld the day he had first saw Jace standing in his doorway._

 _"You're safe" he said cheerfully, plonking himself down onto the end of Alec's bed. "I played demon hunting with him for an hour. No need to thank me."_

 _Although Alec's smile was grateful, inside he felt an unpleasant sense of jealousy; Max had followed Jace around like a shadow from day one and evidently admired him more than his biological brother. Agreeing to his childish games was perhaps one of the reasons why this was so, not to mention that everyone instinctively loved Jace._

 _"I would have played with him but I've got so much revision to do." Alec sighed wearily and he reluctantly lifted his pen again._

 _"Don't worry about it. You probably wouldn't make a good Shadowhunter, anyway."_

 _"A what?"_

 _"A secret race of human beings born with angelic blood who fight demonic forces and unruly Downworlders."_

 _Alec looked back at him blankly. "Unruly_ Downworlders _?"_

 _With a haughty chuckle, Jace said, "You'd have to play the game to understand." He began to absently pick up the sweet wrappers littered on Alec's duvet. "And you should really work at your desk; you'd focus better."_

 _"I'd focus better if people didn't keep disturbing me," he pointed out, despite the hidden truth that he always enjoyed Jace's company, whatever the circumstances. Before Jace could organise his untidy array of papers notes, Alec shuffled them closer to him._

 _"Okay," said Jace, assuming an uninjured air. "I just came to say that there's a house party at Raphael's tonight."_

 _"And?"_

 _"And I was wondering if you wanted to come with me."_

 _Alec stopped writing to look up at Jace. "This is a joke, right?"_

 _"Have I ever told a lie?"_

 _There was an angelic expression on Jace's face which befitted the halo of golden curls on his head and the long lashes framing his eyes. Alec had always been fascinated with the way they glinted gold under the right lighting._

 _"But Raphael is just a stupid kid."_

 _"He's the same age as me," Jace stated, rising to his feet. He flicked his fringe and lifted his chin stubbornly. "Are you trying to say I'm a kid?"_

 _"No, Jace -"_

 _"I beat you in every Krav Maga class, Alec."_

 _The truth in Jace's words made them sting and Alec frowned. Jace never meant to inflict verbal pain when he retaliated in this way. His intentions were to defend himself as if he had something to prove. Whatever that was, Alec was uncertain. Jace was better than him in everything: from his good looks and dating history to his innumerable talents and top grades across every subject. He was a golden child who also happened to thrive off daring adventures and reckless behaviour._

 _"But I didn't mean that you're a stupid kid, Jace," mumbled Alec. "You know I don't think that."_

 _"So is that a yes?"_

 _"Jace... I don't know..." Alec looked at the page in front of him but he couldn't focus on any of the words he'd written. "I don't think my mother would be okay with it. And what about Raphael's?"_

 _"His mother's visiting some sick grandparent in Spain," Jace said, studying the various volumes in Alec's book case. He pulled one out and murmured the title under his breath before asking louder, "Why do you have a book on warlocks?"_

 _"Oh, uh, that's Max's," he lied, hoping his blush wouldn't show too strong. Pretending to live in a fantasy world was excusable when you were entertaining an eight year old boy, but reading about fictitious magic practitioners for leisure couldn't be justified to someone as condemnatory as Jace._

 _"And this Bible has a bookmark in it." He held out it to show Alec. "You don't actually read this, do you?"_

 _Scooting off of his mattress, Alec went over to Jace and took the Bible from his hands. "My father expects me to read it," he muttered, putting it back on the shelf. The collection of texts it contained had been read several times before and although they were of great interest to Alec, he wouldn't tell Jace that, either._

 _"The same goes for me but you don't have to read it from cover to cover."_

 _"Isn't it illegal to leave your kids at home?" Alec asked, ignoring Jace's last comment._

 _Jace shrugged. "I don't know. It's only for the weekend, though."_

 _As he thought about Jace's proposal, Alec scratched absently at the wooden shelf with his finger nail. "But doesn't Raphael take, you know..." He lowered his voice to a whisper, "Drugs?"_

 _Jace rolled his eyes. "We're not going to be taking drugs, Alec."_

 _"So why do you want to go?"_

 _"Why do you not want to go?" Jace raised an intimidating eyebrow._

 _Alec blushed under his intent stare. "My parents won't let us."_ And I hate parties, _he mentally added._

 _"I thought as much," said Jace, flicking off specks of dust from Alec's shelf. "That said, we would be back before they'd even notice."_

 _"No," Alec refused suddenly. "We're not doing this."_

 _"Everyone is going, Alec," claimed Jace. "_ Everyone. _"_

 _From this, it became clear why Jace wanted to go. Since starting at Alec's school, Jace had developed an admired reputation from teachers and students alike. If everyone was going then Jace would be expected above all to make an appearance. Although it was subtle, there was a pleading look in Jace's eyes which signified the importance of attending this party to him._

 _"But we could get in so much trouble," Alec whispered, remembering the other times when Jace's less temerarious ideas hadn't been worth their consequences._

 _"Then you can cover for me," Jace said simply. "But I'm going anyway, with or without you."_

 _Alec closed his eyes wearily; he always hated it when Jace said that. They were a team and Alec, as the eldest sibling, held the responsibility of looking after the others. If anything happened to Jace, it would be all his fault._

 _"_ Fine _." Alec folded his arms and kicked his foot playfully against Jace's. "But you owe me."_

 _Beaming, Jace replied, "Sure, I could teach you the basics of being a Shadowhunter, if you want." In one swift move Jace had caught Alec around the waist and brought him to the ground._

 _"You're hilarious," Alec said, pushing Jace off of him and wondering why his heart always pounded harder when he was close. "I wasn't even ready." When Jace offered out his hand, Alec took it._

 _"This is Krav Maga, Alec. You need to be ready 24/7."_

 _Alec rubbed his elbow and scowled. "Just shut up and tell me the plan."_

* * *

"It's just down this avenue," Magnus said, pointing across Alec to the intended location. Alec turned the car and followed the thin road down. It reminded him of the one leading up to Taki's Diner, with boarded up warehouses and garbage cans lining the pavement. Some of the buildings suggested human inhabitants from the odd assortment of flower pots in a few of the windows and faded curtains strewn across others.

"This is the one," Magnus indicated as they came up to a red brick building. Once Alec had parked, he looked up at it uncertainly. He didn't want to even consider what his father would think if he knew his son was about to enter such a place with another man.

"I know what you're thinking," said Magnus as he unbuckled his seatbelt, "But looks can be deceiving." When Alec didn't respond, Magnus looked at him anxiously. "You're very distracted, Alec. Is everything okay?"

Shaking away his thoughts, Alec smiled. "Yeah, sorry. I'm okay."

Magnus' eyes, now even more intense from the black smudges around them, studied him carefully. "You know, you're a very sweet guy, Alec. However, please don't feel you're obliged to say yes if you don't -"

"No, I do!" Alec objected and his hand landed on Magnus' thigh as if to ensure he wouldn't leave. "I do."

His forthrightness seemed to satisfy Magnus' doubt for he leaned in to kiss him again, taking greater deliberation than the first time in his approach. As their lips pressed together, Alec's hand squeaked unfavourably against Magnus' leather trousers, still wet from the downpour, and he pulled back in his embarrassment. His expression was apologetic, even though he knew there was nothing to be sorry for.

"Perhaps we should wait until we're inside the apartment," Magnus murmured and Alec thought he heard a suggestive underlining to his words. "I have a new coffee machine if you'd care for another beverage?"

A disconcerting realisation crossed Alec's mind and his tongue turned to sand paper in his mouth. " _J_ _ust_ coffee?"

Furrowing his eyebrows a fraction, Magnus said, "Well, there's whisky if you're interested in something a little stronger? Or wine, perhaps?"

"Coffee's... fine. But you're not implying anything else, right?"

Magnus blinked with bemusement. "I'm sorry, have I missed something?"

"I thought "coffee" was just something people said when really they're opening an invitation to... to something else."

Finally understanding, Magnus' mouth widened into an 'O' before the corners of his eyes creased with innocent mirth. "Alec, forgive me, I didn't mean anything of the sort. It would seem rather illicit to suggest such a thing considering this is your first date. Admittedly, I was one for debauchery in my youth but I've since applied a few principles to my dating habits."

"Like what?"

"For example," Magnus said, gesturing to Alec with a slight wave of his hand. "Today appears to be one of many first experiences for you and it would be too much to ask for your virginity, as well. Having said that, if you were the one to make the offer -"

"I'm not," Alec stated firmly, his cheeks burning.

"It would have been a surprise if you did. And a pleasant one at that." With a wink, Magnus opened the passenger door beside him.

Alec followed his lead and hurried up the steps with him, bringing them to a small entryway with a wide metal door at the end. Finding his keys, Magnus unlocked it and passed through, leaving a nervous Alec waiting outside.

"Close the door behind you," Magnus called and Alec responded automatically, almost stumbling over the threshold.

Magnus' apartment was at the end of a long flight of rickety stairs. Once they had reached the top, Magnus dramatically flung the door open before them.

"Welcome to my home. Excuse the mess – I hadn't anticipated on any visitors before your call this morning."

Not wanting to be told twice, Alec stepped inside and politely shut the door after him.

As Magnus had assured, the apartment had a lot more to offer inside and Alec's eyes widened slightly in surprise at the luxurious interior. He stood in a huge room with black, tiled flooring, dark pillars which held up the ceiling and two corridors leading off to various other rooms. Light shades made out of an assortment of thin, translucent tubes and wires were hung from the ceiling and they reminded Alec of jellyfish tentacles. In the middle of the room lay a wide, crimson rug which two white sofas stretched across on opposite sides. They were short and rectilinear and heaped with shamrock green cushions. Between the seats stood two circular tables, piled high with books, paper work, chipped mugs and old takeaways. Ovoid footstools surrounded the tables, wrapped entirely in silvery white cord so that they resembled very large pebbles. A small, tabby cat was curled up on one of them, dozing peacefully. To the right of this set up was a central fireplace coated in black with more soft cushions scattered around it, and on the left there was a flat screen television against the brick wall. The back wall was fitted with floor-to-ceiling windows and almost the entire length of it held book shelves, illuminated by a long bulb along the ceiling which released a spicy, red glow. The shelves displayed a vast collection of books, quirky statues and potted shrubs, all wilting over the edge of the surface they sat on.

The room, along with Magnus' appearance, gave Alec the impression that the homeowner was highly confident in expressing himself. In comparison, Alec was completely austere and he felt overwhelmed with the pressure to meet these impossible standards. Having spent his life desperately trying to appease one person, he doubted he could do the same for someone as diverse as Magnus.

"Take a seat. Make yourself at home," Magnus encouraged, gesturing to the seating area. He was facing the mirror on the wall which ran alongside the main door, assessing the damage to the spikes of his hair and the artistic handiwork on his face.

Alec glanced down at his wet clothing, wondering if Magnus would be displeased with a damp sofa. "I'm okay standing," he claimed. "I don't want to get your furniture wet."

"That's very considerate of you, Alexander, but it hardly bothers me." He scowled briefly at his reflection before turning back to Alec. "I want you to feel comfortable. Remove your clothes if it will make you feel better. I won't mind either way. Just kidding," he added, before Alec could react.

With a short, abashed laugh, Alec made his way to one of the settees. He squatted on the end and was surprised to find how cushy and plush it was. The cat, which Alec had noticed resting on one of the footstools, opened its lambent eyes and regarded him steadfastly.

"Hi," Alec murmured with a slight nod of his head.

"Don't be offended if he doesn't respond," said Magnus as he shrugged out of his blazer. "He's quite a shy thing."

"What's his name?" Alec asked as he slowly reached over to rub his fingertips against the cat's head.

"Chairman Meow," Magnus replied with a proud grin. "I'll let you two become acquainted whilst I fix up this mess." And he pointed a finger at himself.

"You look fine," said Alec, who would have preferred Magnus to look as much of a drowned rat as he did.

"And you're a bad liar," Magnus remarked but he said it with a smile. "Give me five minutes."

Once he had sauntered down one of the corridors, Alec turned his gaze back to Chairman. The cat was gently nudging his head against his fingers and an amiable purr rumbled in his chest. As Alec went to tickle behind Chairman's ears, his mind wondered to Jace and his impetuous response upon seeing him. People were drawn to Jace, yet Alec knew this to be true better than most. It was as if Jace had a magnetic core which pulled at the polar opposite crux in Alec' heart, drawing him in close whenever he felt the warmth of his smile or heard his laughter, like a strong magnetic field. Until today, nothing had been able to break that. Yet when he had seen him in the restaurant, the strength of repellence couldn't have been greater. Never before had he wanted to be so far away from Jace and for a moment he'd thought that the magnet had broken. However, sitting in Magnus' apartment with his cat drooling on his lap, he discerned that the magnet was still intact but with one half inveigled by another.

"I'm impressed," Magnus exclaimed upon entering the room again. He had changed into dark jeans and a black mesh fishnet top showing a white vest underneath that glittered. His hair had been brushed and restyled into a crown of spikes and the black smudges were now wiped from his face. "Either you're a feline whisperer or your pockets are filled with catnip."

Alec shrugged modestly, looking down at Chairman who was lying in the dip between his thighs with his legs pointing up at different angles. "Or maybe I'm a highly trained hypnothera-puss." He felt a goofy grin spread on his face and was pleased to see Magnus return it.

"The Chairman has impeccable taste in humans and I value his opinions on people over anyone's." Magnus came over to join them, perching on the footstool Chairman Meow had recently been occupying. In his hands was a navy blue top and he handed it to Alec. "Put this on. Your lips are starting to turn blue."

As Alec took it, Magnus picked up the cat from his lap, leaving behind a sprinkling of hairs on his jeans. He eyed the clothing warily. Although he didn't have much to feel diffident about when it came to his body, he wasn't comfortable in flaunting it.

"I'll close my eyes," Magnus said, noticing his insecurity. Once he had placed a hand over his vision, Alec tugged Jace's t-shirt over his head. Folding it over the armrest beside him, he pulled the other top on. It wasn't until he had rolled the sleeves up to his elbows that he read the white lettering printed on the front: BLINK IF YOU WANT ME.

Removing his hand, Magnus asked, "When did you get the tattoo?"

"I thought you weren't looking," protested Alec.

Magnus smirked. "I may have taken a little peek."

"Me and Jace got the same one when he turned 18," Alec explained, pulling at the collar of his top to show the black markings near his collarbone. The pattern was made up of a thick black line running horizontally with tail flicks at the top and two more lines crossed through the bottom. "It's supposed to be a friendship rune." Upon seeing the raised eyebrow on Magnus' face, he added, "It was a cool idea at the time."

"You seem incredibly fond of this Jace. Why? Enlighten me."

"I didn't have a lot of friends as a kid. Jace was my first, real one and he helped me out a lot in school and stuff." His eyes fell to his hands in his lap. "He made my life better, I guess."

"And do you?" Magnus asked. "Make his life better?"

"It's not really as simple as that."

As Magnus gave his cat long, affectionate strokes, he said, "Nothing ever is."

"I was eleven when Jace's father was murdered. He was ten. His mother had died just after he was born – he had no other family. My parents – my father especially – were good friends with his and so they took him in. We're his foster family." The memory, although inflicted with a lot of pain for his friend, brought him a sense of honour and pride. "No one understands him like I do. No one ever could."

"Then I'm sure you are important to him as much as he is to you," Magnus surmised, rising to his feet. "Just a black coffee, wasn't it?"

"No sugar," Alec affirmed.

Placing Chairman Meow on the footstool, Magnus left the room with a cogitative expression.

Even though Alec had only answered his questions, he felt culpable for putting a damper on Magnus' mood; he let him see how much Jace meant to him.

 _How he means too much to me,_ Alec thought with conviction. Despite leaving the restaurant, Jace was still present as a third member on his date. And although his mind told him to leave, he didn't know how to enforce this. He couldn't defy the laws of magnetism.

Magnus shortly returned with two mugs and a plate of Jaffa Cakes. As he came to sit with Alec on the sofa, he handed one to him.

"Thank you," Alec said, taking a sip of the rich liquid; the temperature was perfect. Beside him, Magnus took a cake from the plate and leaned back against the sofa. He dunked it into his mug before taking a bite and Alec decided to do the same. "What do you do? For work, I mean. It's just you said it was one of the reasons why you haven't dated in a while." He lowered his mouth to his mug and spoke into it, "And I was wondering why."

"I'm a doctor," said Magnus, rapping his fingertips lightly against his mug. "Of sorts. I specialise in the mind and behaviour."

"But that's cool." Alec twisted his body to face Magnus better.

"In some ways, but it's also very demanding. Sometimes it felt like there were three people in my relationship."

"Oh." Alec already understood what that was like.

"And other times –" Yet Magnus couldn't finish his sentence and a grim expression cast on his face.

Alec found himself in a similar situation to earlier on, just before he knocked Magnus' drink over. Determined not to make the same mistake, Alec slowly crawled his hand along the settee cushion until it found Magnus'. Once he had hold of it, Magnus instantly glanced down at their contact in surprise.

"So I took a break," Magnus continued, interlacing his fingers with Alec's. "Now I see fewer patients and I work at a bar on Fridays so I can have different types of conversations with customers. Occasionally I'll be forced into listening to a sob story or two but at least I'm not expected to fix their problems."

Alec shuffled an inch closer to Magnus and laid against the back of the sofa with him. "I'm glad you decided to work there," was all he said in response.

The warmth returned to Magnus' face and he rolled his head to the side so that he was looking straight at Alec. "Tell me why you chose to major in law. I get the impression that you don't enjoy studying it. Am I wrong?"

"No." Alec uttered the word with a defeated sigh. He glanced down at the dregs of his coffee and swilled them around aimlessly, conscious that Magnus was waiting for him to elaborate. "My father advised me to take this path. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I still don't know."

Following a sympathetic tut, Magnus asked, "And your mother? What was her advice?"

It was as if a cold knife had been plunged into his chest and left there; his breathing faltered. "Sh-she died." He tried to swallow the lump in his throat but it refused to dislodge. "Five… five years ago. Five years ago today, actually."

Although Magnus' voice was touched with sympathy and altruism, Alec couldn't help but feel the full burden of his fault when Magnus asked him what had happened.

"I… She… I can't…" Alec stuttered and suddenly he was placing his mug on the table and rising to his feet. "I c-can't, I'm sorry. I should go." As he started to walk towards the door, Magnus called after him.

"Alec, wait."

Before he could leave, Magnus had caught up with him and grabbed onto his hand. "Just wait," he said, pulling him around to face him.

The feel of Magnus' hand clasped so determinedly around his own dissolved the blade in Alec's chest. The thumping of his heart declared he was still very much alive and despite his intentions to escape only seconds before, his internal magnet prevented this. He could feel the magnetic pull inside him, wanting nothing more than to be as close as possible to Magnus. It took all the strength he had to resist it.

"I'm sorry," Magnus said, his eyes scanning every inch of Alec's facial features. "Forgive me if this sounds too forward… It's been a long while since I've felt anything. Truthfully, I thought I might never feel again. But then I met you and this flame awakened inside of me, giving me hope that I could learn to feel once more."

As Magnus spoke, Alec could see the vulnerability in his eyes.

"I have a habit of prying too much, I know. It's one of my many faults thanks to my career. However, I promise not to ask again – if I see you again, that is."

"It's okay," Alec assured and he took a step closer to Magnus. "I just find it hard to talk about her." He inhaled steadily before he continued. "I really should be going, but… I want to see you again… if you want to see me?"

"Does next Saturday suit?"

When Alec nodded, Magnus closed the remaining distance between them and Alec could smell the essence of a strong cologne and the faint whiff of freshly applied hair spray. Then he realised that his mouth was so close to his own that he could kiss it.

"Do you mind if I ask how old you are, Alexander?" Magnus had his head tilted as he waited for his response and Alec's concern over whether he was good enough for Magnus returned. It was becoming increasingly worrying that he wouldn't be able to live up to the standards of someone who had everything going for him.

"Um, 21." The muscles in his face twitched uncomfortably. "I know I look a lot younger..."

Magnus raised his fingers to Alec's jaw and stroked along it. "People ought to cherish their youth. Once it's gone, it's gone."

"How old are you?"

"I'll be 28 next month," Magnus replied. "Not too old, I hope." Alec shook his head. By now, Magnus' face had become so close that he could see the faintest traces of a stubble and flecks of eye make-up which had fallen onto his cheeks. He couldn't resist the pull any longer.

The moment he kissed him, Magnus responded immediately by wrapping one arm around his waist and the other behind his neck, cradling his head. Now that Alec knew there was a fire inside Magnus also, he could feel a fever rising to his skin, his flame desperate to coalesce with Magnus'. They kissed fiercely and Alec's hands plunged into Magnus' hair, craving more when Magnus teased his tongue. A cool hand slid underneath his top, running over the ridges of his vertebrate and Alec nudged Magnus with his abdomen. He toppled back against the sofa, bringing Alec down with him. Their bodies collided uncomfortably, all hands and elbows and knees but neither of them seemed to care. The kisses fed their perpetual hunger and added fuel to their passionate fires. If Magnus hadn't stopped as abruptly as he did, Alec doubted there would have been an end to their drive.

"Let's not get too carried away," Magnus said with a lascivious smile.

Breathing hard, Alec nodded and hastily regained his footing. "Next Saturday?"

Standing up after him, Magnus agreed, "Next Saturday." He walked Alec over to the door and when he stepped over the threshold, he looked wistfully back. With one arm leaning against the door frame and the other around the door itself, Magnus said, "Until then."

When Alec had descended the stairs and passed through the main doors, he discovered that the rain had subsided and the sun was beginning to peep through the clouds overhead. He blasted the volume up on the radio as he drove back to his campus, singing loud and carefree with the windows rolled down. The prospect of having to return home for three weeks no longer seemed as formidable now that he could see Magnus in between.

Deciding he would text Jace if he hadn't yet returned, Alec strode confidently through the hallways and bounded up stairs before testing the door to his room. It was unlocked. Pushing it open, he walked in to find Jace lounging on his bed.

He wasn't alone.

"At last!" Jace exclaimed, sitting eagerly upright. There was a different glow in his cheeks which Alec hadn't seen before and it sucked away his elation. "Alec, this… this is Clary."


End file.
